Our baby girl Michelle was born three weeks ago. It feels surreal that this baby was created ten months ago, grew into a living being inside my wife’s uterus, and is now here with us. I want to share my experience as a new parent and document my learnings and journey of raising a beautiful, healthy girl.

I remember vividly the moment my wife’s amniotic sac ruptured early in the morning in our bedroom—on the expected delivery day. We were both surprised how accurate our prediction was. She was so calm and knew exactly what to do. I was proud of her, and I felt good to be her husband at that moment. The rest was a blur. Things happened fast, but we were prepared. Creating another life is a life-changing experience. Do your best to prepare and stay focused, because you will need it. I am fortunate my partner was on top of everything.

For the first two weeks, all our minds were on keeping the infant alive. We were trying to decode what every cry meant and learning different ways to soothe the baby. It felt like she was so fragile—that my single wrong move could end this tiny thing’s life. Then I had a paradigm shift. I realized how resilient my baby is—to grow in a tiny womb inside my wife for ten months, come out into this world, and work so hard to survive each day. My baby has a strong will to live. She is a tiny warrior princess. She got this. I am her guardian, and I will make sure she not only lives but thrives in this world. Since that shift, the third week felt like a breeze, and now we are focusing on keeping our baby girl happy and growing well. But baby, do not grow too fast—your daddy loves holding you and watching you fall asleep peacefully.

The postpartum period is also called the fourth quarter of pregnancy—the baby is born still developing and dependent on her parents to survive. She grows and evolves every day. Sometimes it feels like Michelle has grown after each of her naps. You do not want to miss it. Take a moment and embrace these milestones. Once they grow, you cannot go back in time.

I do my best to smile at Michelle when I look at her, hold her, feed her, and put a new diaper on. I call her name and talk to her like she can understand me. I try to speak in a relaxed and cheerful tone to let her know everything is fine. She will remember our interactions. Do not freak out—this is our first child. We do not know everything about becoming good parents, but we are willing to learn. I am happy that she is happy. Her occasional smiles—whether carrying meaning or not—bring me enormous joy. To a new parent, I want to say that your baby is not looking for a perfect parent. They are looking for a caring, genuine, and calm parent who is happy to be with them.

I found it fascinating that 응애응애 in Korean is an accurate onomatopoeia of baby crying. My baby’s cries sound exactly like this, and they are not entirely annoying to listen to. Babies cry to communicate their needs with you. Do your best to respond to your baby’s cry as quickly as possible. We always prioritize Michelle feeling secure and heard. Do not take continuous crying personally or stressfully. It is easier said than done, but know that a baby can feel your emotion through your touch and the tone of your voice. If you stay calm and let her know that things are in control, she will calm down quicker. Newborns are not trying to manipulate you or get your attention by crying—they are simply communicating with you for their survival.

Build a system to run your home and parent your newborn. Routines will be crucial to finding patterns in your baby’s behavior and maintaining your mental health. It will take trial and error because every family is different. Just because a TikTok influencer found a method that worked and the video received a million views does not mean it will work for you or your baby. And that is fine. Stay open-minded, and you will get satisfaction when you figure things out for yourself. You can only prepare so much—do not get too stressed about the unexpected, and be ready to learn every day. Stay positive. It is fun and rewarding to watch your baby grow into a full human being. I often get excited thinking about road trips we will go on together once Michelle is old enough for a long car ride. Lack of sleep makes it hard, but know that sleep duration will get longer in a few months, and you will be able to sleep through the night. Look forward to it. Structure creates stability, and stability creates momentum. This logic applies to every aspect of life. Parenting is not an exception. Find your rhythm, and you will get there.

If you are a husband or a partner, be supportive in whatever way you can. For example, my wife preferred to continue doing house chores soon after returning home, so I let her be while I tracked her medication, did the dishes, took night shifts, changed diapers, handled the trash, drove, and held the baby. Every thought, every effort, every act counts. Empathizing—and not focusing on being right—is the key to being a supportive spouse, especially now.

It takes two to tango and raise a baby. There is no blaming game. Neither of us is better or smarter than the other when it comes to parenting. We are both open-minded and wish for the best for our baby, and we will support each other to become great parents. We are a team raising our beautiful baby girl. That is the mindset we both share. We will also gratefully accept help and support from others. This is what we did when my mother-in-law flew into town to accompany us to the hospital and stay with us—aiding with house chores and helping us become first-time parents. She cooked for us, took nightshifts, babysat so we can go out for a mini date strolling around neighborhood, and shared her wisdom. Perhaps I am not the best person when it comes to asking for help, but I decided to do it this time. If help is offered, take it. You are doing it for your baby and your wife. Share burdens whenever possible. You need it. The success of parenting and your baby’s well-being depends on it. You are not alone. This is teamwork.